The Eagle Has Landed

The novel ‘The Eagle has landed’ by Jack Higgins is a good read about the soldiers, their courage and the James Bond-flickish last minute survival tool kits available with them. Well mine wasn’t half as scary or exciting as the book but it did have its excruciatingly boring and otherwise heart beating turns too.So lets start at the beginning. Somehow, I finally managed to wrap up things half-way in Mysore and start one hour later than planned. We reach b’lore and as usual the trucks and autos rule the roads, making us drag ourselves on the road, literally, to the airport. And even more naturally my phone dies on the way to b’lore making it impossible for me to reach anyone or anyone to reach me (the good side of this – no one can call me to tell not to travel to the US; the bad side – I missed calling several ppl about me going away for sometime).We reach the airport by 5 for my 7 o’clock flight and after the round of goodbyes I started standing in a loooooong queue for my B’lore-Mumbai Air India flight. Met a Mindtree guy, traveling for the first time, a guy so nervous the airport authority would have thought he’s got a fast-clicking bomb in him due to the way his teeth were chattering. Kept on asking me questions like – ‘Will it matter if I have an e-ticket? ‘I’m traveling for the first time, wt abt u?’ and obviously he was the next guy in line after me, so had to answer each and every one of his questions by saying ‘I don’t know’ which made him more nervous. And as luck would have had it, there were 2 queues for the Air India flight, and me with my calculations and permutation combination decided the other queue is the better one to stand in. The result – I stood there in the check-in counter Q till 6.45 for my 7 o’clock flight. And needless to say, seeing me go to the other Q, the mindtree guy also joined me in my endless wait at the counter.Waiting at the gate to board the plane, saw a Café Coffee day outlet there, with cappuccino which costs Rs. 10 in Infy, and 22 (with tax) in KD road, costing Rs 55. So me being me, decided to wait for the freebies in the flight. And what do u knw, the flight was 1.5 hours late. Got in and the ladies (or shall I say senior citizen flight attendants) directed me to the end of the plane, where if I’d gone any further I would have popped out through the poo-discharging-look-alike tail-end part of the plane. The plane took off with me feeling like sitting in a Rajhamsa with a carnival-boat-colombus-like effect when it starts going up, and u can hear every nut and bolt screaming to be let loose and the whole world is on your head pushin the blood into your feet. And needless to say, the wonderful teeth-unmissing senior citizens gave me a cucumber&tomato-sandwich and a bottle of water. Landing in Mumbai at 10.30, they directed us to the transit which had a snack bar with, take a wild guess, yes u got it - cucumber&tomato-sandwiches and bottles of water. Ok they had fanta, coco-cola and beer too. With no restaurants, no place to eat, left with no choice, paid Rs.140 for a cucumber&tomato-sandwich and a bottle of water. He gave a free handful of potato chips too. Knowing that I wont be brushing my teeth, I bought a chewing gum for Rs. 40 too.Then the speaker system kept on announcing “Travellers bound to New York, please go to Gate 15 immediately”. Reaching there, the security guys told us to go back. This went on happening for a couple of rounds, resulting in us, New York bound passengers, having a wonderful round of midnight-musical chair competition but nobody wins anything.But once we got through the gate, and the x-ray detector in which we had to x-ray our shoes too, the plane took off on time and me not being at the far end of the plane.So I’m seated and lo! And behold! An LCD tv for each and every seat. Cool!! Only thing, whenever I shifted in my seat, the reading light above came on. Then realized that the LCD tv has a remote control on the seat-handlebar which contains the reading light switch too. Ok, so I’m using my remote control and switching between movies, music, tv games, but cant hear anything, so searched and found a pair of headphones. But this wonderful creation of technology has two plug-points which has to fit into a pair of headphone sockets on the seat handlebar. But one of the plugpoint is too large to fit into the socket and no matter what, I cant push it in. So decided to teach the socket a lesson – bent down to act as if I’m tying my shoe lace (I’m wearing a slip-on shoe) and with one hand on the handlebar I rammed the plug point in. Well, some people or things aren’t meant to be taught, the plug point went right into the headphone instead of the socket. So obviously the next thing is to get rid of the booty, so immediately switched it with the headphone of the guy sitting next to me. And that guy complained to the senior citizens again and got a new one. So fiddled around with the remote control, then later found out that the LCD screen is touch sensitive and played with that, hoping that the senior citizens will serve something.Fell asleep after sometime, and was woken up by an old man, asking me “Do U want to beat someone”. I said no politely and went back to sleep and then was woken again by another old lady who asked the same thing. By then, I was groggy and half-awake and the aroma of biriyani was reaching the arteries in my brain thru my nose. Sensing smthng is really wrong, I rub my eyes to watch the guy next to me scrape his plate – this led me to do a rewind where I found that old man and lady were the flight attendants asking me “Do U want to eat somethin?”. Waited for the next old man/lady to hobble by, and with the most pitiful and heart-breakin Oliver Twist-face, I asked if I can have smthng to eat. And by God, I got it. I scrapped the plate, the tasteless bread and the slices of raw papaya at 3 am IST. Having filled my stomach, I went back into blissful sleep.Got up at 9 am IST, with more food being served and finally asked someone to show how to plug the speakers and found that only one speaker worked. Managed to watch 2 movies back-to-back and then decided to go the loo.Let me tell u, the loo in the plane is meant to discourage people from going to the loo. With no place to move around, I had to get in sideways and then sit snugly onto the seat, cuz the sides were making it a pretty comfy fit, like getting into a well made jeans. The turbulence did help in many ways (a lot of ways), but all-in-all, a very unsatisfying experience. Hey, but I cant help but go, with 15 hours non-stop, I gotta go sometime.I managed to hang my LCD tv, with it getting stuck at a Madonna song – ‘I Love New York’, and then spent the rest of the time flipping through mags and sleeping.At 1.30 IST, I get my next meal, and ate just the rice, cuz I had enuf of the sitting and eating and channel flipping.At 4.15 IST, we made the landing at JFK airport with the plane making a landing similar to a go-kart on a course, swerving and bouncy. The security checks were a breeze and I found my family friend Ajay, a beautiful sight for sore eyes, who waited 2 hours and took me to his home.