Amsterdam by Ian McEwan

A relationship diver kinda book. felt draggin sometimes, but stopped reading then. Picked it up again, and felt awashed with the energy involved in describing the actions and characters and what they are feeling throughout, for a timeline thats quite small for a novel of this kind.

A good read, a wee-bit depressing, and a worthy story.

Thanks to my friends - Sowmithra, Malvika, Ananth for picking this book for my birthday.

To feel alive

An evolving and ever-modifiable list I decided to put together before I say "Sayonara world!".

1. Skydiving

2. Watch a Broadway musical

3. Drive across America

4. Drive across India

5. Charge up in a heavy metal rock concert (preferably Metallica, Iron Maiden or Black Sabbath)

6. Run a world-renowned marathon

7. Climb one of the top peaks of the world (gotta decide which one)

8. Go whitewater rafting (gotta learn swimming first, but that's not worthy of a bucket list)

9. Learn French, Spanish, Arabic (no, Hindi is not part of the list)

10.

More to come...

Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

Another book which was taken for the purpose of killing time, yet resulted in a refreshing analysis of how people are shaped, rather how the destiny of people are shaped.
So much for "You make your destiny", though he doesnt rubbish that totally. Instead he develops a theory that is interesting, yet failed to get me hooked completely.
His story telling mode really pulls you into the book, and the different situations are linked together and edited well.
A thorough read for anyone interested in knowing more about people and how success was shaped in their lives.

The Big Short by Michael Lewis

Brilliant written book on the subprime crisis which hit the US economy and brought it to its knees. But instead of writing about the crisis, he has focussed on the few sideliners that knew about it before and bet against it, and won big time.
Written it in a way which would make any Hollywood scriptwriter proud.
But since its a complex subject on the stock market et al, normal readers might find it difficult to grasp the intensity & enormity of the situations being described in the book.

Charon

The puppy was cradled in my hand, as I stepped out of the gate. I could feel it shiver, or was it me? I pulled my 30-year old khaki coat closer, and held Terry tighter. I never could stand the feeling on these days. Things around have changed much, yet they havent in many ways...
Terry's whimpering increased as the winds blew harder, into the crevices of my coat, and I huddled into myself.
He gave me Terry as he started his walk, I would have been amused if not for where he was going. Terry came from nowhere and found his way into his solitary world; so much for tight security. And now he's with me...
For two weeks, I saw him smile, laugh and inspite of all what he has done, I felt for him. Then I saw him cry, and weep like a boy accepting himself. My own son had left me as he could not stand to face how I have brought him up, by doing what I do. Is that why I felt for him? Maybe, maybe, but I have learned to step away from it, the emotions and do what has to be done.
Yes things change, with alarming alacrity and lucid sadness too. Technology has crept in to help us, yet we are still here. For all these years, life still retains its cruelty and beauty.
He was young, and full of life. Yet he had to do all those cruel things. Didnt he know of the that it always catches up, if not in this life, in the next?
No, I should not judge, who am I to judge? I am merely the ferryman, I only push the button.
Someone has to do it. I chose me.

The Eagle Has Landed

The novel ‘The Eagle has landed’ by Jack Higgins is a good read about the soldiers, their courage and the James Bond-flickish last minute survival tool kits available with them. Well mine wasn’t half as scary or exciting as the book but it did have its excruciatingly boring and otherwise heart beating turns too.So lets start at the beginning. Somehow, I finally managed to wrap up things half-way in Mysore and start one hour later than planned. We reach b’lore and as usual the trucks and autos rule the roads, making us drag ourselves on the road, literally, to the airport. And even more naturally my phone dies on the way to b’lore making it impossible for me to reach anyone or anyone to reach me (the good side of this – no one can call me to tell not to travel to the US; the bad side – I missed calling several ppl about me going away for sometime).We reach the airport by 5 for my 7 o’clock flight and after the round of goodbyes I started standing in a loooooong queue for my B’lore-Mumbai Air India flight. Met a Mindtree guy, traveling for the first time, a guy so nervous the airport authority would have thought he’s got a fast-clicking bomb in him due to the way his teeth were chattering. Kept on asking me questions like – ‘Will it matter if I have an e-ticket? ‘I’m traveling for the first time, wt abt u?’ and obviously he was the next guy in line after me, so had to answer each and every one of his questions by saying ‘I don’t know’ which made him more nervous. And as luck would have had it, there were 2 queues for the Air India flight, and me with my calculations and permutation combination decided the other queue is the better one to stand in. The result – I stood there in the check-in counter Q till 6.45 for my 7 o’clock flight. And needless to say, seeing me go to the other Q, the mindtree guy also joined me in my endless wait at the counter.Waiting at the gate to board the plane, saw a Café Coffee day outlet there, with cappuccino which costs Rs. 10 in Infy, and 22 (with tax) in KD road, costing Rs 55. So me being me, decided to wait for the freebies in the flight. And what do u knw, the flight was 1.5 hours late. Got in and the ladies (or shall I say senior citizen flight attendants) directed me to the end of the plane, where if I’d gone any further I would have popped out through the poo-discharging-look-alike tail-end part of the plane. The plane took off with me feeling like sitting in a Rajhamsa with a carnival-boat-colombus-like effect when it starts going up, and u can hear every nut and bolt screaming to be let loose and the whole world is on your head pushin the blood into your feet. And needless to say, the wonderful teeth-unmissing senior citizens gave me a cucumber&tomato-sandwich and a bottle of water. Landing in Mumbai at 10.30, they directed us to the transit which had a snack bar with, take a wild guess, yes u got it - cucumber&tomato-sandwiches and bottles of water. Ok they had fanta, coco-cola and beer too. With no restaurants, no place to eat, left with no choice, paid Rs.140 for a cucumber&tomato-sandwich and a bottle of water. He gave a free handful of potato chips too. Knowing that I wont be brushing my teeth, I bought a chewing gum for Rs. 40 too.Then the speaker system kept on announcing “Travellers bound to New York, please go to Gate 15 immediately”. Reaching there, the security guys told us to go back. This went on happening for a couple of rounds, resulting in us, New York bound passengers, having a wonderful round of midnight-musical chair competition but nobody wins anything.But once we got through the gate, and the x-ray detector in which we had to x-ray our shoes too, the plane took off on time and me not being at the far end of the plane.So I’m seated and lo! And behold! An LCD tv for each and every seat. Cool!! Only thing, whenever I shifted in my seat, the reading light above came on. Then realized that the LCD tv has a remote control on the seat-handlebar which contains the reading light switch too. Ok, so I’m using my remote control and switching between movies, music, tv games, but cant hear anything, so searched and found a pair of headphones. But this wonderful creation of technology has two plug-points which has to fit into a pair of headphone sockets on the seat handlebar. But one of the plugpoint is too large to fit into the socket and no matter what, I cant push it in. So decided to teach the socket a lesson – bent down to act as if I’m tying my shoe lace (I’m wearing a slip-on shoe) and with one hand on the handlebar I rammed the plug point in. Well, some people or things aren’t meant to be taught, the plug point went right into the headphone instead of the socket. So obviously the next thing is to get rid of the booty, so immediately switched it with the headphone of the guy sitting next to me. And that guy complained to the senior citizens again and got a new one. So fiddled around with the remote control, then later found out that the LCD screen is touch sensitive and played with that, hoping that the senior citizens will serve something.Fell asleep after sometime, and was woken up by an old man, asking me “Do U want to beat someone”. I said no politely and went back to sleep and then was woken again by another old lady who asked the same thing. By then, I was groggy and half-awake and the aroma of biriyani was reaching the arteries in my brain thru my nose. Sensing smthng is really wrong, I rub my eyes to watch the guy next to me scrape his plate – this led me to do a rewind where I found that old man and lady were the flight attendants asking me “Do U want to eat somethin?”. Waited for the next old man/lady to hobble by, and with the most pitiful and heart-breakin Oliver Twist-face, I asked if I can have smthng to eat. And by God, I got it. I scrapped the plate, the tasteless bread and the slices of raw papaya at 3 am IST. Having filled my stomach, I went back into blissful sleep.Got up at 9 am IST, with more food being served and finally asked someone to show how to plug the speakers and found that only one speaker worked. Managed to watch 2 movies back-to-back and then decided to go the loo.Let me tell u, the loo in the plane is meant to discourage people from going to the loo. With no place to move around, I had to get in sideways and then sit snugly onto the seat, cuz the sides were making it a pretty comfy fit, like getting into a well made jeans. The turbulence did help in many ways (a lot of ways), but all-in-all, a very unsatisfying experience. Hey, but I cant help but go, with 15 hours non-stop, I gotta go sometime.I managed to hang my LCD tv, with it getting stuck at a Madonna song – ‘I Love New York’, and then spent the rest of the time flipping through mags and sleeping.At 1.30 IST, I get my next meal, and ate just the rice, cuz I had enuf of the sitting and eating and channel flipping.At 4.15 IST, we made the landing at JFK airport with the plane making a landing similar to a go-kart on a course, swerving and bouncy. The security checks were a breeze and I found my family friend Ajay, a beautiful sight for sore eyes, who waited 2 hours and took me to his home.

Another One Bites The Dust

Hi folks,
Lets do a thorough FMI with 2 cycles on the BR, FS and TD to ensure that our MTP is perfect. Do dwell on the SAD, jump right into the BAD and use the PAD effectively to become SMEs. The MPP will have your lovely dates arranged to have your HLS ready to go for the DFDs. The SLAs along with the OLAs will guide you through the thin and lean. Do go thru the WBS to know your RA and TC contributions. FAT will be zooming in 2 weeks and we need the RTMs uploaded to TD by then and GRs done on time. Do remember to fill and send the WSRs on time and to know if we're on track. The FAT will have PPT on its heels, with BAT hovering in and soon will be swallowed by the UAT and then we'll b in PIP. So by that time your MSRs should be ready for the QA to do an SPC analysis. So once we're done, we'll get the BAM and TAM giving us our due.

Any questions?

Within Me

Memories, thousand mirrors broken together,
each reflecting within into me,
Light streaming through coloured panes,
darkness seeping away softly.

Through the swells of time,
I wade further, careless, with no boundary,
battles feasted upon, emotions strummed to,
to become un-whole me.

Vast realms, wild and tilled,
enclosed within, a spirit in search, in vain,
Reason and Belief, did You guide me?
or was it laid before, my surreal lane?

I turn to the horizon, to where I cannot see
struggle to turn the page before its done;
waves rushing around, I walk back to now,
later, I shall return to where I came from.

Judas bleeds

it’s Night, dark, and i'm running, from them, from it. Fast, that the air burns my nostrils as i inhale. But i’m not stopping, i can’t. The silver coins jingle and chime as my legs carry me to nowhere. Why did i do what i did……… The darkness around me, doesn’t seem to scare me, rather it hides the eyes that bore my soul. Searing pain’s shooting through my legs and my lungs burn for want, but i can’t stop, i can’t.
Arghh…. The bloody tree root, i’ve fallen hard, and i don’t want to get up. My face’s on the ground, the dust being blown away, and enters my mouth. My resin-like saliva mingles with the dust, but i lay there, feeling my heart beat against me, like a caged animal. My legs shiver with faint, but i don’t feel any of these. i see His eyes, with pain and anguish, yet abandoning Himself as i came near Him.
i break the thought as i get up to run away from me, only to fall again, harder this time, since i can no longer feel myself. Do i feel remorse at what i have done? No; No, i don’t think i do. i’m rich, my silver coins, they will keep me safe. i can buy land and grow food, and become richer. He did preach, maybe He was different from the rest, but will that satisfy when my hunger beckons? i don’t know, maybe… Why did He have to be against them? All of us could have done things together. it’s His fault…… is……it…?
The coins jingle with every move i make, reminding me, i did it….. why did i do it? He loved me, just like any of them. Did i think that he didn’t? why?
The coins splatter around me as i turn on my back, my clothes clinging to me, as i do. i cough, choke with my dust-laden saliva, and His cry pierces my ears, and i try to scream, but nothing happens. i try to cry, but no tears come. i crumble into myself, listening to His cries, as they whip Him, tearing his skin.
i cant close my eyes, for i see His pained eyes, as i kissed His cheek, showing them who my Master was. i hear his desolation as He spoke; did he know i was going to do my heinous act?
i hear the sun rise, its rays screams into my eyes, showing me what i have done, my act, He died because of me….
Forgive me Master.

vivo vixi victum

buried alive, i claw in my grave,
to get out or in remorse, i know not;
i wish i'd die, but Fate has decided and She gave,
this darkness, i reap, which i have sought;

Ecstasy and Agony, brothers in arms, why?
why grasp together in life, and shatter wats there?;
tears and inflictions, my chains, close to me they lie,
is this is my doin?, if so, can i wipe 'em away?

rooted deep, Fear, embalms useless me,
Your blazoned pike stir my scarred remains;
Earth, burdened by what i was, and still shall be
hate blissfully given, into my never-ending bane.

Breath given, to be, and to give
echoes of Pain, through you, i shall live.

Sea, sands, life and guitar

Spent another day strumming to a few strangers. Not to mention the rest....Had woken up with a bang going on my head; resolved, uselessly, not to party this hard. Ran into Padre Antonio, and was given a impeachment from the books of heaven for not going for mass. Even He should know that Saturdays are meant for partying. Ya, I know; even Mondays and Tuesdays. Thurs.. Alrite, so I party a lot. Now u knw y my resolution's gudy. Ostriched my head into my straw hat and slept thru noon, with the waves splashing by. My trusted partner lying next to me, letting the sands soothe us. Unlike people say about the sea, I think its the sands that soothen our troubled spirits on the beach. Hmm... That should bring another song...Got up when it started getting cooler, I must have some temperature alarm set in me. Dragged myself to the nearest bonfire, and assessed the crowd around. These people are so nice, and happy, why do they come here to enjoy? Is it a change of place? or timezone? Somebody started humming, I started strumming and crooning, with the people joining in.... Felt bored after sometime, and came awayLuv life, my guitar, the sands and the sea.... Today's another day....